4.19.17

time shoves itself down our throats ungently, as if with the back end of a plunger, pounding, compressing, clogging the airways of our breathable lives Message Broadcast: peace is attainable but first you must abandon all human predilections i think i understand this fucked up situation we’re in. i think i understand why people drive around killing other random people, not understanding that they themselves are random to someone, AND that they themselves are also unrandom because the pain they feel is the same pain felt by everyone or at least someone somewhere Message Broadcast: whatever way you’re feeling has been felt a trillion times before or is being felt right now by a stranger or even a familiar i was sad today. my mother is sick. all systems failing. the time for life enjoyment has passed, is passing, slowly and painfully before me, but i must endure what they’ve endured before me, the child enduring deterioration Message Broadcast: decay seems worse and more painful when observed instead of felt directly the leash will soon be broken. it is being hacked at every day. soon i will be free and broken and lost. soon the gravity of my unpreparedness will fall like an anvil on my back, turning my bones to dust Message Broadcast: pain deepens when its expected hello future, meet past. past meet future. let’s all be friends and take this world together, as if treating a tidal wive like any other wave, trying to avoid it by swimming under Message Broadcast: an immense chance of failure does not discredit success please, please, if you’re reading this, know that it is dumb to hurt other people, that the pain you feel cannot be transferred, that it is yours to hold and cherish, that it is yours, only yours. Message Broadcast: accept what is yours because what is yours is earned and what is earned is always worth keeping. 

Written at 11:27 at night, in my office, in Agoura Hills CA, while chewing on a pen.